I told my priest I cheated on my husband, and he went and told my husband

The Seal of Confession or also known as the Seal of the Confessional or the Sacramental Seal is the absolute duty of priests when they hear a confession. They are supposed to not disclose anything that they learn from penitents during the course of the Sacrament of Penance, but what happens when they do?

In this case we have a female who posted on a social forum about this very issue. She writes: 

I cheated on my husband three years ago while traveling for work. It was a one night stand and we didn’t exchange numbers or keep in contact. I don’t even know his last name.

Until last month, I’ve never told anyone about this event. At the time I cheated, I didn’t really care because my marriage was rocky and I felt unappreciated. But my husband and I reconnected during quarantine and I started to feel extremely guilty.

Last month, I thought I would try going to confession with my parish priest. He said I needed to tell my husband as part of my penance. I wasn’t really sure how to do that, so I’ve sat on it.

Last weekend I came home to my husband throwing all of my stuff out of the bedroom and trying to kick me out of the house. He knows everything. Apparently the priest followed up to see if I’d told my husband, and when my husband said he didn’t understand what the priest was talking about, he told my husband about the affair.

My whole world is exploding because I thought confession was supposed to be private. Does the priest have any kind of liability or responsibility?

This is an interesting example because it comes two-fold. It includes questions of privacy, and of course marriage law. The female did commit an indiscretion that could be used against her in divorce proceedings down the line. But did the priest also not violate some privacy laws by disclosing something she though she said in confidence? 

From a legal standpoint, the priest does not have any liability or responsibility. You won’t be able to successfully sue the priest for this in a civil court. However, within the church the priest could face punishment that can even lead to excommunication.

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