Marriage and Prenuptial Agreements: Debunking 6 Common Myths About Prenups

Disclosure: Some links below are partnership links. We could earn a referral fee at no extra cost to you when you make a purchase.

Prenuptial agreements (prenups) are often misunderstood, leading couples to overlook them as an essential legal tool. These myths can create misunderstanding, cause anxiety, and potentially lead to unnecessary conflict between partners. By clearing up these misconceptions, couples can gain a clearer understanding of prenups and how they work. Let’s explore these myths and uncover the truths that challenge them.

Table of Contents

• Myth 1. Only Wealthy Couples Need Prenups
• Myth 2. Prenups Are Unromantic
• Myth 3. Prenups Are Only About Divorce
• Myth 4. Prenups promote unrealistic expectations.
• Myth 5. Once Signed, Prenups Can’t Be Changed
• Myth 6. Having a Prenup Means You Expect to Fail
• The Bottom Line: Prenuptial Agreements Can Promote Healthy Marriages

Myth 1. Only Wealthy Couples Need Prenups

The Truth: Prenups can benefit any couple, regardless of financial standing. In fact, prenups play a crucial role for individuals who may possess significant debt, as these agreements help delineate financial responsibilities and obligations. For example, suppose one partner is entering the marriage with considerable student loan debt. In that case, a prenup can protect the other spouse from being held liable for that debt should the couple divorce.

Moreover, prenups can clarify how property acquired during the marriage will be divided, such as shared assets like a house, family business, or investments. Having a prenup in place can provide peace of mind and a sense of security for both parties, relieving the stress of uncertain financial futures.

Dave Ramsey, the popular radio host and personal finance expert, says every couple, whoever you are, needs “to get on the same page about money” before they walk down the aisle.

According to Ramsey, money fights and/or money problems are “the number one cause of divorce in North America today.”

Myth 2. Prenups Are Unromantic

Another common belief is that discussing a prenup implies a lack of trust in a partner or confidence in the relationship. Many couples worry that approaching the topic of a prenup will clash with the romantic ideals of marriage.

The Truth: In reality, discussing a prenup can be an important part of a healthy relationship. It provides an opportunity for couples to engage in open and transparent discussions about their finances, expectations, and future goals. It forces both partners to discuss potentially sensitive subjects that could lead to conflicts down the line.

Engaging in constructive dialogue about finances can help couples understand each other’s values and priorities regarding money. When done thoughtfully, discussing a prenup can deepen the bond between partners and foster mutual respect.

Getting a prenup shouldn’t be an intimidating process. That’s why Hello Prenup was invented. It’s the first online platform that allows you and your partner to create a valid prenuptial agreement in mere hours instead of months. The process involves answering a series of questions about your financial situation and goals, and the platform generates a legally binding document based on your responses. Best of all, it costs a fraction of the price of traditional methods.

Myth 3. Prenups Are Only About Divorce

Many believe that the primary purpose of a prenup is to prepare for divorce, inherently framing the marriage as a potential failure. This narrow view can dissuade couples from considering a prenup altogether.

The Truth: While prenups do outline what would happen in the event of a divorce, they can also serve as a blueprint for financial management during the marriage. For instance, a prenup can specify how joint debts will be handled, how financial decisions are made, and clarify the management of shared assets.

A prenup can also address what will happen in case one partner passes away, offering clarity and protection for both individuals and their families. A prenup can help foster financial cooperation throughout the marriage by outlining intentions and expectations.

Myth 4. Prenups promote unrealistic expectations.

There is a belief that prenups can cover any topic or issue, which can lead to unrealistic expectations about what can be included in these agreements.

The Truth: While prenups can cover a wide array of financial and asset-related provisions, there are legal limits to what can be included. For instance, courts often do not enforce provisions related to personal matters, such as stipulations about lifestyle choices, how many children to have, or personal conduct. Additionally, any clauses deemed to violate public policy or that are considered unconscionable may not hold up in court.

To maximize the enforceability of a prenuptial agreement, it is important to work with a qualified legal professional who can ensure that the agreement adheres to state laws and includes appropriate provisions. This step can help couples avoid situations where their agreement is contested or invalidated.

Myth 5. Once Signed, Prenups Can’t Be Changed

Many individuals believe that a prenup, once created and signed, is fixed and cannot be altered, which can create a feeling of permanence that may intimidate some couples.

The Truth: Prenups are not necessarily permanent documents. In reality, prenups can be modified if both parties agree to the changes. Life circumstances can evolve—careers can change, financial situations can improve or worsen, and families grow.

Most couples may find it necessary to revisit and revise their prenup at various points throughout their marriage, especially after significant life events like the birth of a child or a substantial change in income. The key is to maintain open lines of communication and regularly discuss any necessary updates to the agreement.

Relationship experts advise couples to update their prenuptial agreement every five years with an attorney to ensure that the agreement still meets their needs. Your life circumstances and priorities can change during the marriage. These could include dramatic financial developments, the sale or acquisition of a business, real estate transactions, the birth or adoption of children, health and medical emergencies, marital issues that need addressing, or relocation to another state where a prenup might not be enforceable as is.

Updating your prenuptial agreement every five years is a good thing for two reasons. The contract accurately represents your current circumstances and safeguards both you and your partner in the event of a divorce.

Myth 6. Having a Prenup Means You Expect to Fail

There is a stigma around prenups that suggests preparing for a potential divorce signifies a lack of faith in the marriage. This myth can lead to feelings of insecurity and resentment between partners.

The Truth: A prenup can actually serve as a proactive measure that promotes a healthier relationship. It offers both partners a sense of security by defining financial rights and responsibilities upfront. This transparency allows the couple to focus on building a strong partnership rather than worrying about unintended financial consequences.

Far from being a sign of impending failure, a prenup can enhance the foundation of the marriage, allowing both partners to trust that they are on the same page regarding finances.

Personal finance expert and podcast host Suze Orman is another firm believer in every couple taking the time “to draw up and sign a prenuptial agreement.” She emphasizes that a prenup is the only way to “safeguard yourself and your finances later in life.” Orman recommends not waiting until the last minute, such as the day before the wedding. You should be having this important conversation “at least six months” in advance. Many couples begin looking at prenups right after their engagement.

There are also postnuptial agreements for those already in a marriage, says Orman. This document also works like a premarital agreement as an account of your money and property in their entirety. The contract provides a blueprint on how you divide those assets in the event of a divorce.

The Bottom Line: Prenuptial Agreements Can Promote Healthy Marriages

By addressing common misconceptions about prenuptial agreements, couples can engage in discussions that enhance trust and understanding in their relationship. A prenup should not be viewed as purely a legal document but instead as a tool to promote financial clarity, communication, and mutual respect.

Taking the time to address myths and consider a prenup can lead to a healthier marriage where both partners feel secure and valued. Every couple is unique, and their circumstances will influence whether a prenup is appropriate for them, but understanding the facts can help couples make informed decisions about their future together. Whether wealthy or not, legally savvy or inexperienced, all couples stand to benefit from the clarity and protection that a well-crafted prenup can provide.